Bullying Stop It

A couple of weeks ago, I read a story from the website LDS Living, here's the article
The article is about a young boy who was bullied at school first by one guy, but later found out the same guy was also in his ward, the bullying kept on going, the kid who was being bullied made some non-member friends and would invite them to go to scouts, the bullies would then pick on his friends as well, calling them gay or faggots.

It says it gotten to the point that because he was getting bullied even more by having these two friends, he had to end his friendship with one of them, who was being picked on the most and then he was left friendless and didn't want to go to scouts anymore.

His dad would see him sitting by himself during opening exercises before priesthood started, his peers wanted nothing to do with him.

He was 14 when he died of suicide.

Questions may come up as to why he didn't told his parents, or church leaders.

I didn't even told my mom what was going on during those years for me. She didn't know of the breaking point I had and when I turned to prayer for help and got my answer, she read it on here, as all of you did.  when I was younger,  a older primary age, about 10-11 I remembered  going to my mom and just wishing, begging, crying that I could be normal, that the kids would want to do anything with me, I was invited to birthday parties and parties in general when the kids were younger and their mothers would help them with the guest list, that all changed when they were old enough to make their own, so I would be in class and hear them talking about parties they all went to. Not parties a friend from school was doing, but parties they had done

The bullies most likely did it when the leaders were not in hear-shock. If I ever become a leader for the young men, I will not let bullying happen. I'll share my own experiences in lessons and so on, I will NOT let it happen.

While still in primary (Quick note, if you don't know what primary is, it's a class that kids from a year old I think?, up to 11 years go in church for an hour, and then 3rd hour they are together in their age groups) I would ask this guy if he wanted to hang out, do a sleep over or whatever, he came up with some excuse about doing a double sleepover with a friend of his on that day, (He said a double sleepover is when you spend two nights instead of one)  but would do one with me later on. it never happened.

I would say I have never been verbally bullied from the people in my Sunday school class, but I do know what it felt like to be rejected, to be the person that nobody wanted any part of. I had thoughts come to me a couple of times, like "Would anyone.. beside my family miss me if I would die one day?" Those are scary thoughts to think, for anyone, especially for a young boy. I would brush them off and never think of those thoughts again.


   I personally do not understand bullying at all... why do people do it?. I'm a firm believer of

I wish everyone would listen to the council from Dieter F. Uchtdorf "This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!"

Notice how he said holding grudges. I do not hold any grudges to anyone from my Sunday school class. When I was around 12-13, one of the girls in my class had gotten a cut on her finger, she was saying she needed a band-aid, I guess no one heard her, or cared. so I got up, went out of the classroom to the closest with the cleaning supplies. open the first aid box and got a band-aid, gave it to her, she said "Thanks Michael"

In my patriarchal blessing, it says I have the gift of love of fellowman. so.. yeah hahah, that's pretty cool huh?. There will be two videos in this post, but they are very important videos.

Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

A Mother's Day Post

Hey, seeing I only blog on Tuesday, and Mother's day will be in five more days, this post will be about May the 5th, the Rebellion Celebration.. get it, because their rebels?... yeah.. I'll be quite now.

Here's a small part from the verse Alma 56:47 "they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them." then verse 38 says "And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it."

We do not have a lot of information about the mother's of the stripling warriors. But I would like to see it as this. the mothers taught by example, they taught their sons to be righteous and to have a good relationship with their Heavenly Father. There may of been times when their mothers had to raise their voices. Their sons would want to spend time with their friends, like Almadom, Gidgiddonish, Helamanmon (Yes, I made those names up hah :p)  probably show off who's muscles were bigger, whatever they did back then. Or probably you know.. teenagers guys, would talk about the girls there " if there is anything virtuous, lovely,  we seek after these things." hahha, :p
 Then their mothers would be like.  "ow ow get thee  hence and gather our wheat, least my hail and  mighty storm shall beat upon you" their mothers would say  "Why can't thee be as Nephi as old, and go and do?"

But they were taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them, they even told Helaman what their mothers had said, (Taught them, taught by example) "And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it" Almadom and Gidgiddonish probably realized even more how much their mothers loved them then, when they were away with Helaman, and how thankful they were to have their mothers.

President Gordon B. Hinckley in his talk titled "To The Women Of The Church
He said

"Many of you think you are failures. You feel you cannot do well, that with all of your effort it is not sufficient.
We all feel that way. I feel that way as I speak to you tonight. I long for, I pray for the power and the capacity to lift you, to inspire you, to thank you, to praise you, and to bring a measure of gladness into your hearts.
We all worry about our performance. We all wish we could do better. But unfortunately we do not realize, we do not often see the results that come of what we do."

The mother's of the stripling warriors probably did not see all of what they did for their sons, until they saw them again, and heard what actually happened, that their sons could rehearsed everything they taught them, of words or by examples.
These mothers probably felt like they were failures as well, but look at what the stripling warriors were able to do.

Also from President Hinckley's talk "My children are now all grown. Some are in their 60s. But when they call and I answer the phone, they say, "How are you?" And before I can answer, they ask, Is Mother there?" a load of laughter came from the audience.

I love my mom for everything she does for me, I'm grateful to have her as a mother.

                           Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

Me and Youth Dances

Today's post will be about how the church youth dances were for me, and how the YSA dances are in some ways the same.

I started going to the youth dances when I turned 14, it started out as good times, I would dance with a lot of people, highest I gotten at one of those dances was like 12.

About a year later, they weren't all that fun. I would try to come up with conversations to have, it was a real struggle because of Aspergers. to even make things worse, it was always a one sided conversation... the person I was dancing with hardly would add anything into the conversations, there were times when we would just dance hardly saying anything, and then a guy from my ward would see, and give me some "input" at what kind of things to say while dancing. In my head I was saying "Yeah, I've done all of those, it doesn't really work.." Favorite movie, book, tv show, whatever it was, I asked, not the "What's the color of your toothbrush?" line which was talked about at a youth conference.. because that's just plain dumb.  90% of the time, the girls wouldn't even ask me anything back.

Once the song ended, I saw other guys would ask the same people and they'd be laughing and having a conversation going the whole time. It  was at this time when those thoughts of me being weird or a freak hit like a raging storm, because it wasn't just the 12-13 people from my class at church, but it was pretty much all of Tri-Cities.

There was this one dance I went to, I was 14-15.. it was a parking lot dance over at my church building and at one point during the evening, two girls came up to me from my Sunday school class and told me to "Stop following *girl's name*, that she doesn't even like you" I did had a crush on this girl, a long time before this night. I simply said "I haven't even seen her the whole night" they said something back and just walked off.

The small confidence I did had fell through the cracks. I just wanted to walk home, I wanted to be done with it all. I went to dances to hang out with my  few friends. once I got to the dance I would just walk around, sit down, and do it over again, because being in the group circle was kinda weird, I didn't really know any of them so I just left the circles.  there were some moments when I actually had some fun, but it didn't happened a lot.

 During those teen years, I would listen to some music which probably wasn't the best to listen to. sad songs, some screamo, some emo style bands. I would go home, get on to youtube and just listen to songs, because I felt like an outcast, I felt alone, couldn't interact with the people from dances, I was  miserable. There was a time when I just stopped going to dances altogether. the times I did started going again, I wouldn't ask anyone to dance, because no one wanted to, so why ask?.

Now at YSA dances, I've ran into kind of the same thing, it is much... much better now though.  I go up to my friends who are in groups and be part of the groups. I do not do the group dances. there are still times when I'm walking around and going to sit down and stuff like that. I do not ask people I do not know to dance. the last couple of dances I been to, most I ever danced was three times. I don't ask, because I don't want to go through the same situation. I have a good time at dances now, last two dances were okay, the one before those was great. I will try to have a good time at dances now. I'm the only one preventing me from having a good time

I remember being at a fireside one Sunday and the person played this video. I loved it, it's a Mormon Message video. "Hello, my name is Michael and I'm addicted to Mormon Message videos" haha.

Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

Stay By The Tree- Elder Kevin W. Pearson

Elder Kevin Pearson  gave a talk during this past General Conference Sunday Afternoon session. He talked a lot about enduring to the end, and the whole time I was thinking about my blog and how I can do better in my own personally life. Stay By The Tree I would recommend to go listen to the talk, it was a really good one.

He said "If you are struggling, confused, or spiritually lost, I urge you to do the one thing I know will get you back on track. Begin again to prayerfully study the Book of Mormon and live its teachings every day, every day, every day! I testify of the profound power in the Book of Mormon that will change your life and strengthen your resolve to follow Christ. The Holy Ghost will change your heart and help you see “things as they really are. He will show you what you need to do next."

That is truth. some of you may of already read it, but a few weeks ago I talked about being active in the Church and the Gospel. Since I been reading and praying I have felt better.

I also really liked the part in his talk where he said don't forget to pray.

"We begin with Lehi alone “in a dark and dreary waste.Each of us experiences periods of darkness and loneliness. “When life gets dark and dreary, don’t forget to pray. Follow President Heber J. Grant’s example. Pray for strength to endure to the end. Ask Heavenly Father, “What more would You have me do?”

He quoted a small part from the hymn "Don't forget to pray" that hymn will always be very important to me, it is one of my favorite hymns.

"Enduring to the end is a hallmark of true discipleship and is essential to eternal life. But when trials and challenges come our way, we are often told to simply “hang in there.” Let me be clear: to “hang in there” is not a principle of the gospel. Enduring to the end means constantly coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him."

We must always strive to come unto Christ, I know that if we're going through a hard trial, if we are coming unto Christ, we will feel better, we will have the strength to overcome the trial, even if you feel in total darkness in the time of the trial, look for the light, Christ will be there to lift us up. and that we will  endure to the end. Stay strong, keep following Christ.

                                 Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

A Amazing Weekend.

This past weekend was really amazing, a friend of mine got baptized, after his baptism a group of us went to the Old Country Buffet, then came Sunday, he asked if I would help with confirming the Holy Ghost to him, it was my first time experiencing that and it was a really good one.

My YSA Branch had our fast Sunday this past week, we didn't do it two weeks ago before General Conference. I had a strong feeling I needed to go up and bear my testimony that I  know Heavenly Father knows our trials, He know who we are. As I was sitting there a part of me didn't what to go up. but I knew that I had to.

My post a few weeks ago, about mighty prayer, I shared that experience. I started with saying how I have a testimony that Heavenly Father know our trials, he know what we're going through. I thought it would be easy to bear my testimony about this experience. But I started to get emotional from those first few words, once I stated that I have Asperger Syndrome, I started to stutter and more tears began to form. in my head I was thinking "Why is this happening now?" but then I realized.. I have never told anyone this experience vocally. a flood of emotions came pouring out. the loneliness from what I went through, the feeling I got when Heavenly Father answered my prayer, the whole nine yards

Stuttering and crying do not mix nicely, hahah, but that doesn't really matter a whole lot. when I got to the part where I said I didn't got my first hug from someone around my age and outside of my family until I was 14. That was really hard to say, along with talking about my "breaking point"

When I got done, I walked back to my seat, I tired not to look at anyone, once I sat down, a friend of mine put his arm around my shoulder for a couple of seconds. I was still pretty emotional when I sat down, tears were just falling.

My friend who was baptized that Saturday got up next to bear his testimony, which I might add was a  wonderful testimony. before he started his testimony, he said that "Me and Michael were talking at the old country buffet how we don't shake hands, we hug instead."

During the rest of sacrament meeting, I wish I would of said how I was thankful for every friend I have, I did however said that on Facebook the following evening.

I'm thankful for the experience I went through,  without it I  wouldn't have a strong testimony of this. I wouldn't of been able to let people know that Heavenly Father is mindful of you, he knows everything your going through.  I am positive that the spirit touched at least one, if not
more.
I told my friend who's on her mission about this, and she said "And I repeat: Never forget how much you are loved. You inspire people and you've inspired me time and time again. Don't you ever forget it!"
I love every friend I have, thanks for being my friends.

This Mormon Message video is really amazing, I love it so much

. 

Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

My General Conference Challenge For Myself

Conference weekend was amazing, a lot of great talks, I still need to watch some of the morning sessions, I missed parts of them because of work.

I don't know about you guys, but me personally I love Conference weekend, because it's when we can hear messages from the Prophet, the 12 Apostles and other church leaders, why only listen to the new Conference talks two times a year?, and this is why I came up with a "challenge" for myself, listen to a General Conference talk everyday. I know that by doing this I'll grow spiritually. If you, yourself would also like to do this challenge, feel freely to do so.  

That I'll feel peace, that I'll be able to be strong during temptations, that I may be happier, that my relationships and testimonies  with my Heavenly Father and his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ will grow and be firm. That my testimonies of the leaders in this church will be strengthen, I will know with a uttermost surety that they are called of God, to lead and guide us in these days. 

Along with listening to the talks, I will still continue to read my scriptures and to pray daily.

From doing this, my foundation in Christ will be strong and firm. Helaman 5:12

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

The talk which I listened to today was by  Elder James J. Hamula of the Seventy titled The Sacrament and the Atonement it was a wonderful talk, with Easter this past Sunday and what this talk was about, this poem of mine is pretty appropriate.

Come see our savior
sorrowful is his soul
Tarry ye here, and watch with me

"Let this cup pass from me:
nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt"
Red poured down his mighty face
The pain he felt, the blood he bled

The agony he felt, for sins of mankind
Behold!, our beloved elder brother
In pain for our sins

He rose from his prayer
Sadness reach his face
his disciples sleepeth, " could ye not watch with me one hour?"
a second time, he went.

Tears come to me
This is my savior, and his suffering
For my very own sins

My elder brother
Arose, found his disciples heavy eyed
He stared, tears began to fall

He went a third time
His father’s will be done…
My savoir
Went to his disciples
Jesus started to weep

Disciples awoke
From his weeping
Their faces dazed

Continue to sleep, take your rest
The hour has come and Son of God is about to be betrayed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it