Me and Youth Dances

Today's post will be about how the church youth dances were for me, and how the YSA dances are in some ways the same.

I started going to the youth dances when I turned 14, it started out as good times, I would dance with a lot of people, highest I gotten at one of those dances was like 12.

About a year later, they weren't all that fun. I would try to come up with conversations to have, it was a real struggle because of Aspergers. to even make things worse, it was always a one sided conversation... the person I was dancing with hardly would add anything into the conversations, there were times when we would just dance hardly saying anything, and then a guy from my ward would see, and give me some "input" at what kind of things to say while dancing. In my head I was saying "Yeah, I've done all of those, it doesn't really work.." Favorite movie, book, tv show, whatever it was, I asked, not the "What's the color of your toothbrush?" line which was talked about at a youth conference.. because that's just plain dumb.  90% of the time, the girls wouldn't even ask me anything back.

Once the song ended, I saw other guys would ask the same people and they'd be laughing and having a conversation going the whole time. It  was at this time when those thoughts of me being weird or a freak hit like a raging storm, because it wasn't just the 12-13 people from my class at church, but it was pretty much all of Tri-Cities.

There was this one dance I went to, I was 14-15.. it was a parking lot dance over at my church building and at one point during the evening, two girls came up to me from my Sunday school class and told me to "Stop following *girl's name*, that she doesn't even like you" I did had a crush on this girl, a long time before this night. I simply said "I haven't even seen her the whole night" they said something back and just walked off.

The small confidence I did had fell through the cracks. I just wanted to walk home, I wanted to be done with it all. I went to dances to hang out with my  few friends. once I got to the dance I would just walk around, sit down, and do it over again, because being in the group circle was kinda weird, I didn't really know any of them so I just left the circles.  there were some moments when I actually had some fun, but it didn't happened a lot.

 During those teen years, I would listen to some music which probably wasn't the best to listen to. sad songs, some screamo, some emo style bands. I would go home, get on to youtube and just listen to songs, because I felt like an outcast, I felt alone, couldn't interact with the people from dances, I was  miserable. There was a time when I just stopped going to dances altogether. the times I did started going again, I wouldn't ask anyone to dance, because no one wanted to, so why ask?.

Now at YSA dances, I've ran into kind of the same thing, it is much... much better now though.  I go up to my friends who are in groups and be part of the groups. I do not do the group dances. there are still times when I'm walking around and going to sit down and stuff like that. I do not ask people I do not know to dance. the last couple of dances I been to, most I ever danced was three times. I don't ask, because I don't want to go through the same situation. I have a good time at dances now, last two dances were okay, the one before those was great. I will try to have a good time at dances now. I'm the only one preventing me from having a good time

I remember being at a fireside one Sunday and the person played this video. I loved it, it's a Mormon Message video. "Hello, my name is Michael and I'm addicted to Mormon Message videos" haha.

Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

Stay By The Tree- Elder Kevin W. Pearson

Elder Kevin Pearson  gave a talk during this past General Conference Sunday Afternoon session. He talked a lot about enduring to the end, and the whole time I was thinking about my blog and how I can do better in my own personally life. Stay By The Tree I would recommend to go listen to the talk, it was a really good one.

He said "If you are struggling, confused, or spiritually lost, I urge you to do the one thing I know will get you back on track. Begin again to prayerfully study the Book of Mormon and live its teachings every day, every day, every day! I testify of the profound power in the Book of Mormon that will change your life and strengthen your resolve to follow Christ. The Holy Ghost will change your heart and help you see “things as they really are. He will show you what you need to do next."

That is truth. some of you may of already read it, but a few weeks ago I talked about being active in the Church and the Gospel. Since I been reading and praying I have felt better.

I also really liked the part in his talk where he said don't forget to pray.

"We begin with Lehi alone “in a dark and dreary waste.Each of us experiences periods of darkness and loneliness. “When life gets dark and dreary, don’t forget to pray. Follow President Heber J. Grant’s example. Pray for strength to endure to the end. Ask Heavenly Father, “What more would You have me do?”

He quoted a small part from the hymn "Don't forget to pray" that hymn will always be very important to me, it is one of my favorite hymns.

"Enduring to the end is a hallmark of true discipleship and is essential to eternal life. But when trials and challenges come our way, we are often told to simply “hang in there.” Let me be clear: to “hang in there” is not a principle of the gospel. Enduring to the end means constantly coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him."

We must always strive to come unto Christ, I know that if we're going through a hard trial, if we are coming unto Christ, we will feel better, we will have the strength to overcome the trial, even if you feel in total darkness in the time of the trial, look for the light, Christ will be there to lift us up. and that we will  endure to the end. Stay strong, keep following Christ.

                                 Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

A Amazing Weekend.

This past weekend was really amazing, a friend of mine got baptized, after his baptism a group of us went to the Old Country Buffet, then came Sunday, he asked if I would help with confirming the Holy Ghost to him, it was my first time experiencing that and it was a really good one.

My YSA Branch had our fast Sunday this past week, we didn't do it two weeks ago before General Conference. I had a strong feeling I needed to go up and bear my testimony that I  know Heavenly Father knows our trials, He know who we are. As I was sitting there a part of me didn't what to go up. but I knew that I had to.

My post a few weeks ago, about mighty prayer, I shared that experience. I started with saying how I have a testimony that Heavenly Father know our trials, he know what we're going through. I thought it would be easy to bear my testimony about this experience. But I started to get emotional from those first few words, once I stated that I have Asperger Syndrome, I started to stutter and more tears began to form. in my head I was thinking "Why is this happening now?" but then I realized.. I have never told anyone this experience vocally. a flood of emotions came pouring out. the loneliness from what I went through, the feeling I got when Heavenly Father answered my prayer, the whole nine yards

Stuttering and crying do not mix nicely, hahah, but that doesn't really matter a whole lot. when I got to the part where I said I didn't got my first hug from someone around my age and outside of my family until I was 14. That was really hard to say, along with talking about my "breaking point"

When I got done, I walked back to my seat, I tired not to look at anyone, once I sat down, a friend of mine put his arm around my shoulder for a couple of seconds. I was still pretty emotional when I sat down, tears were just falling.

My friend who was baptized that Saturday got up next to bear his testimony, which I might add was a  wonderful testimony. before he started his testimony, he said that "Me and Michael were talking at the old country buffet how we don't shake hands, we hug instead."

During the rest of sacrament meeting, I wish I would of said how I was thankful for every friend I have, I did however said that on Facebook the following evening.

I'm thankful for the experience I went through,  without it I  wouldn't have a strong testimony of this. I wouldn't of been able to let people know that Heavenly Father is mindful of you, he knows everything your going through.  I am positive that the spirit touched at least one, if not
more.
I told my friend who's on her mission about this, and she said "And I repeat: Never forget how much you are loved. You inspire people and you've inspired me time and time again. Don't you ever forget it!"
I love every friend I have, thanks for being my friends.

This Mormon Message video is really amazing, I love it so much

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Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it

My General Conference Challenge For Myself

Conference weekend was amazing, a lot of great talks, I still need to watch some of the morning sessions, I missed parts of them because of work.

I don't know about you guys, but me personally I love Conference weekend, because it's when we can hear messages from the Prophet, the 12 Apostles and other church leaders, why only listen to the new Conference talks two times a year?, and this is why I came up with a "challenge" for myself, listen to a General Conference talk everyday. I know that by doing this I'll grow spiritually. If you, yourself would also like to do this challenge, feel freely to do so.  

That I'll feel peace, that I'll be able to be strong during temptations, that I may be happier, that my relationships and testimonies  with my Heavenly Father and his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ will grow and be firm. That my testimonies of the leaders in this church will be strengthen, I will know with a uttermost surety that they are called of God, to lead and guide us in these days. 

Along with listening to the talks, I will still continue to read my scriptures and to pray daily.

From doing this, my foundation in Christ will be strong and firm. Helaman 5:12

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

The talk which I listened to today was by  Elder James J. Hamula of the Seventy titled The Sacrament and the Atonement it was a wonderful talk, with Easter this past Sunday and what this talk was about, this poem of mine is pretty appropriate.

Come see our savior
sorrowful is his soul
Tarry ye here, and watch with me

"Let this cup pass from me:
nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt"
Red poured down his mighty face
The pain he felt, the blood he bled

The agony he felt, for sins of mankind
Behold!, our beloved elder brother
In pain for our sins

He rose from his prayer
Sadness reach his face
his disciples sleepeth, " could ye not watch with me one hour?"
a second time, he went.

Tears come to me
This is my savior, and his suffering
For my very own sins

My elder brother
Arose, found his disciples heavy eyed
He stared, tears began to fall

He went a third time
His father’s will be done…
My savoir
Went to his disciples
Jesus started to weep

Disciples awoke
From his weeping
Their faces dazed

Continue to sleep, take your rest
The hour has come and Son of God is about to be betrayed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it