Hey readers, sorry for not posting for awhile, I have been trying out something new, going to bed at 9 or 10 (10 being the latest), waking up at 6 or 7 and work out for one or two hours, have breakfast, school, and then one or two more hours of working out in the day, making a total of three or four hours.
I was 8 pounds away from breaking 20lbs before the new years came (I was going good with Christmas), but I gain some pounds back, but their leaving now.. By the end of this month I'll pass 20lbs in total.
Clothes are still fitting better, it's all going good just a bit slow right now because of the holiday.
In each month I'm hoping to lose 25-30lbs, will it be hard?, yes.. but life is hard and this is part of life for me, I love hearing from people saying "Everytime I see you, you're clothes are getting looser" comments like that is what keeps me going at times when working out I just dread it and want to give up.
Now for my goals I have came up with before leaving on my mission in the fall.
I will be studying the Book of Mormon, I have read it once (You can read about that in my blog entry of my testimony of the BoM)
I'll be studying the Bible more too.
Reading and studying all the subjects in "Mormon Doctrine" which is by Bruce R. Mcconkie
Reading and studying all the subjects from "True to the faith"
With everything I'm going to be studying and so on, I'll be keeping journal(s), write down my thoughts and promptings from the Holy Ghost.
Applying the booklet "Duty to God"
Reading "Preach my Gospel" coming up with lessons from there, learning as much as I can.
I been reading the book "Miracle of forgiveness" which is by Spencer W. Kimball
It's an amazing book and I recommend reading it
My last goal I have came up with is, hanging out with my brother, and studying with him, reading scriptures with and and praying, I want to be an example to my younger brother, even tho Nephi was younger then Sam, I want to be an example to my brother as Nephi was to Sam.
First Nephi 2:17
"And I spake unto Sam, making known unto him the things which the Lord had manifested unto me by his Holy Spirit. And it came to pass that he believed in my words."
Studying and using my journals will take time, but read Doctrine and Covenants 19:23
"Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me"
I want to walk in his meekness, I want to have peace inside of me,
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light- Matthew 11:28-30
Brothers and Sisters, come unto God and he will give you rest, learn of him and we shall have rest in our souls.
On the back of the Duty to God booklet it says "Behold, thou art my son;... and I have a work for thee" Moses 1:4,6"
I am a son of God... we are all children of our Heavenly Father, remember that forever and ever.
I want to be the best missionary as I can when I enter into the MTC, and then grow and learn more over the two years and apply that threw out my life.
Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
I am different.
Readers, I went to my friend's birthday party tonight.. haven't been to a party since.. umm probably August.
There was a lot of people there, people laughing, talking, and so on.. I felt very, um how can I say it.. a bit awkward being there.
No offense Jonathan I love ya just with the stupid Asperger's it's hard for me, thanks for inviting me.
It have gotten to the point in my life when I am invited (which I'm not invited to a lot of things) that I want to go.. because I was invited and I hardly am.. but it's very difficult.
try to imagine you being at you're friend house, with people you have seen from dances but you have never really spoken with them, and imagine that their not talking with you, but laughing, talking, with their friends.
And you not knowing what to say to them, the whole time I was at the party only one person I did not know came up to me, said "Hi, i'm (name), what's you're name?" a conversation wasn't started, I said my name and that was about it, she went to hang out with her friends after that.
As I was sitting at the table where they were playing the "Question game" I wasn't playing with them, just watching them play the game, I just "couldn't" join in and play it with them.
As I was observing them (As stated in my blog entry about Asperger's "Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.")
I observe people (which kinda like me staring at them)... does it sound creepy?.... sigh yeah I'm weird.
When I observe them, i'm like.. "How can they do that?!" their talking and laughing , laughing and talking, it's crazy at least for me, you my readers probably see it as "normal" and see me as.. "different".. another thing I don't understand, is how can their be a group of friends talking together all at once?, sometimes two people or more talking at once.
I was just standing in the house just observing people.. being a creep, Jonathan came over and told me to go outside and hang out by the fire, I was making my way to the door when he asked some others to join us as well.... all were girls hah.. I turned back and was walking into a room but he came and got me, after spending five minutes or so by the fire I went inside, the girls that came out where talking in their group, the people by the fire who were already there was talking to Jonathan, and me just standing there.
My friend Spencer asked if I wanted to play chess, which was nice because I was just sitting in the living room area, we went into his room and played it, he won the first time, I won the 2nd time.
I then went back to the party area, most everyone have left so it was a bit easier for me.. why must I be so weird?, God knows I'll be able to handle Asperger's... but at times I just don't know if I can.
What is normal in my eyes?... normal is being able to interact with you're friends 80% more then I can, being able to be in a group, playing a game, talking, laughing, talking and laughing.. being with that "someone" which whom you have a crush with, I know for sure no one has a crush on me or even think of me in that way, why would they?.. being normal is when you can flirt just for the fun of it and just hang out with the opposite gender , as what I saw tonight at the party.. and not even just tonight, but at dances and so on.
I have only been on two dates in my whole life, and that was when I was 17.. it's not just all about the opposite gender but just wanting to interact 80% more with my friends. I am grateful for the friends I do have, everytime when I pray I let my Father in Heaven know that I'm thankful for the few friends I do have.
People have told me "You're not like most guys" and have told me I am unique, a part of it I guess is I speak what I mean, I don't speak to be mean to people, and like at efy bout the tissues (You can read that in my post about efy).. but I do wish to be "normal" at times, I do wish to have that "someone" to hang out with and to talk to, even if I do.. I don't know how I'll be at it...
Anyways, have a good new beginning of this year.
There was a lot of people there, people laughing, talking, and so on.. I felt very, um how can I say it.. a bit awkward being there.
No offense Jonathan I love ya just with the stupid Asperger's it's hard for me, thanks for inviting me.
It have gotten to the point in my life when I am invited (which I'm not invited to a lot of things) that I want to go.. because I was invited and I hardly am.. but it's very difficult.
try to imagine you being at you're friend house, with people you have seen from dances but you have never really spoken with them, and imagine that their not talking with you, but laughing, talking, with their friends.
And you not knowing what to say to them, the whole time I was at the party only one person I did not know came up to me, said "Hi, i'm (name), what's you're name?" a conversation wasn't started, I said my name and that was about it, she went to hang out with her friends after that.
As I was sitting at the table where they were playing the "Question game" I wasn't playing with them, just watching them play the game, I just "couldn't" join in and play it with them.
As I was observing them (As stated in my blog entry about Asperger's "Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.")
I observe people (which kinda like me staring at them)... does it sound creepy?.... sigh yeah I'm weird.
When I observe them, i'm like.. "How can they do that?!" their talking and laughing , laughing and talking, it's crazy at least for me, you my readers probably see it as "normal" and see me as.. "different".. another thing I don't understand, is how can their be a group of friends talking together all at once?, sometimes two people or more talking at once.
I was just standing in the house just observing people.. being a creep, Jonathan came over and told me to go outside and hang out by the fire, I was making my way to the door when he asked some others to join us as well.... all were girls hah.. I turned back and was walking into a room but he came and got me, after spending five minutes or so by the fire I went inside, the girls that came out where talking in their group, the people by the fire who were already there was talking to Jonathan, and me just standing there.
My friend Spencer asked if I wanted to play chess, which was nice because I was just sitting in the living room area, we went into his room and played it, he won the first time, I won the 2nd time.
I then went back to the party area, most everyone have left so it was a bit easier for me.. why must I be so weird?, God knows I'll be able to handle Asperger's... but at times I just don't know if I can.
What is normal in my eyes?... normal is being able to interact with you're friends 80% more then I can, being able to be in a group, playing a game, talking, laughing, talking and laughing.. being with that "someone" which whom you have a crush with, I know for sure no one has a crush on me or even think of me in that way, why would they?.. being normal is when you can flirt just for the fun of it and just hang out with the opposite gender , as what I saw tonight at the party.. and not even just tonight, but at dances and so on.
I have only been on two dates in my whole life, and that was when I was 17.. it's not just all about the opposite gender but just wanting to interact 80% more with my friends. I am grateful for the friends I do have, everytime when I pray I let my Father in Heaven know that I'm thankful for the few friends I do have.
People have told me "You're not like most guys" and have told me I am unique, a part of it I guess is I speak what I mean, I don't speak to be mean to people, and like at efy bout the tissues (You can read that in my post about efy).. but I do wish to be "normal" at times, I do wish to have that "someone" to hang out with and to talk to, even if I do.. I don't know how I'll be at it...
Anyways, have a good new beginning of this year.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Be Desirous
Readers, before I talk about desire.
Thank you for reading my blog and for the comments I have received, it means a lot and I'm grateful I can help you out.
2011 have been my best year yet, I learned so much of myself from efy, trek and gaining a testimony of the Book of Mormon.. 2012 will be another great year, losing the weight, going on mission and so on.
we need to have a desire to learn and convert ourselves.. Alma 32:27-28 reads "But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me"
It beginneth to enlighten my understand, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me...
Readers, please look up Alma 32:27 and read until the chapter is finished.. it will make you enlighten you're understanding.
in 2011 I went to efy and in some talks were about even tho we are born into this church, we need to convert ourselves.. we need to get a desire to learn for ourselves, once you gain this desire, make it grow as stated in verse 28th.
The youth mutual theme for this year is "Arise and shine forth" D&C 115:5.. be desirous to arise and shine forth for this year and onward with you're life.. young and old.
I have a desire to serve a full time mission.. and I will do it, I'm preparing now.. I can't wait until I'm out there serving God and being his hands, he knows the perfect place to send me and to teach his people.
Brothers and Sisters.. be desirous.. I would ask of you to read and study General Conference talks.. it will change you're life for the better.
Endure to the end, stay strong in the gospel and you won't regret it.
Thank you for reading my blog and for the comments I have received, it means a lot and I'm grateful I can help you out.
2011 have been my best year yet, I learned so much of myself from efy, trek and gaining a testimony of the Book of Mormon.. 2012 will be another great year, losing the weight, going on mission and so on.
we need to have a desire to learn and convert ourselves.. Alma 32:27-28 reads "But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me"
It beginneth to enlighten my understand, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me...
Readers, please look up Alma 32:27 and read until the chapter is finished.. it will make you enlighten you're understanding.
in 2011 I went to efy and in some talks were about even tho we are born into this church, we need to convert ourselves.. we need to get a desire to learn for ourselves, once you gain this desire, make it grow as stated in verse 28th.
The youth mutual theme for this year is "Arise and shine forth" D&C 115:5.. be desirous to arise and shine forth for this year and onward with you're life.. young and old.
I have a desire to serve a full time mission.. and I will do it, I'm preparing now.. I can't wait until I'm out there serving God and being his hands, he knows the perfect place to send me and to teach his people.
Brothers and Sisters.. be desirous.. I would ask of you to read and study General Conference talks.. it will change you're life for the better.
Endure to the end, stay strong in the gospel and you won't regret it.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christ is born
Third Nephi 1:13
" Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets"
I feel sorry for not doing much Christmas posts during this month, it is Christ's birthday, the beloved son of God.
I would have but a few things to say during this amazing day, read the story of his birth in Luke, read it with you're family this day and by yourself.
I would also would like if you will watch this video, it brought tears to my eyes when I watched it, I hope it will do the same for you.
" Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets"
I feel sorry for not doing much Christmas posts during this month, it is Christ's birthday, the beloved son of God.
I would have but a few things to say during this amazing day, read the story of his birth in Luke, read it with you're family this day and by yourself.
I would also would like if you will watch this video, it brought tears to my eyes when I watched it, I hope it will do the same for you.
Also this is an amazing video as well, I would love if something like that would happen with me.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
My Testimony of the Book of Mormon
This has been the first time I have read threw the book all the way, I would try to read it but I always stop around the time I got to Alma
As I'm preparing for my mission I know I need to read it and understand and teach from it as much as I can, so I started in the fall and wanted to be done with reading it before the new year.
I was going good and then.. days went by without reading it I would read for couple of days and then just stop for a week or two then read, then stop and so on, I got way behind to the point of asking myself
"Do I want to finish before the end of the year?"
Yes, I wanted to read it before the end of the year, I wanted to gain my own testimony of the book, so last week I told myself I will read 50 pages per day.
I read the 50 pages in one sitting, I didn't know how much time it would take me in the day to read the 50 pages. Yesterday I looked at the clock, I started reading at 7:30pm, I got done with the 50 pages at 11:40pm... with having dyslexic it is harder for me, I would read and mix up words that weren't even there, if I didn't mix up the words then I just didn't understand what I had just read I went back two or three verse or even more and re-read what I have already read, doing that every so often it takes time but I wanted to read 50 pages per day.
Friday and Saturday were amazing, I read out loud to myself and I wasn't stuttering a whole lot, barely anything, reading out loud at least for me I learned more, at some parts of the Book Of Mormon my voice began to get emotional, as I read on during Friday and Saturday I was prompted from the Holy Ghost to mark some verses so I'll be able to go back and re-read them
3rd Nephi 12:15-16: Behold, do men light a candle and put it under a bushel? Nay, but on a candlestick, and it giveth light to all that are in the house; Therefor let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
To me that really stood out, we need to be the light, we need to be the example to others, we are their light, let us shine forth!
3rd Nephi 15:9: Behold, I am the law, and the light, Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life
How can I put it any clearer, we endure to the end and we will have eternal life, I loved this and how much I felt I needed to mark it for some reason.
Now go to chapter 27:16-17 I was prompted to mark this one as well, I know why now
"And it shall come to pass, that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled; and if he will endure to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world. And he that endureth not unto the end, the same is he that is also hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence they can no more return, because of the justice of the Father"
We need to repent, if we do not repent we will be cast into the fire of hell and we cannot return from there, repent, repent. be saved, no one is perfect on this earth, we make mistakes but we can repent and become worthy again.
Moroni 7:11-12:
For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he cannot be a servant of the devil. Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and entiecth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually"
The devil wants us on his side, our life's will be miserable, if he has us in his grasp.
Another one I was prompted to mark was Moroni 7:43
"And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart"
That reminded me of
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light- Matthew 11:28-30"
Christ is meek and lowly in heart, to have faith and hope.. we need to be meek and lowly in heart as-well let starts now.
As I was reading Moroni chapter 8, more then half of that chapter I took it to heart and thought that what I will be doing on my mission,
After reading the chapter I had a prompting to replace the "My beloved son, Moroni" to "My beloved son, Michael"
The feeling of the spirit... overcame me and it was a feeling I'll never forget.
I'll go back to it many times, and once I get my mission call I'll go back and re-read it, same as when I'm on my mission.
I find it very funny, how the day after I finished the book of Mormon, I got on a game that I haven't played in for a year and the server I joined, some people were bashing my religion and the book of Mormon, I fine this funny because Satan will not stop to lead us away from the church, we have to be stronger then he is.
The Book of Mormon is true, I have gain my own testimony of it, this church is the true church. I know that God lives and he sent his beloved son to die for our sins.
If you are ever having doubts, read the Book of Mormon and pray.
Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it
As I'm preparing for my mission I know I need to read it and understand and teach from it as much as I can, so I started in the fall and wanted to be done with reading it before the new year.
I was going good and then.. days went by without reading it I would read for couple of days and then just stop for a week or two then read, then stop and so on, I got way behind to the point of asking myself
"Do I want to finish before the end of the year?"
Yes, I wanted to read it before the end of the year, I wanted to gain my own testimony of the book, so last week I told myself I will read 50 pages per day.
I read the 50 pages in one sitting, I didn't know how much time it would take me in the day to read the 50 pages. Yesterday I looked at the clock, I started reading at 7:30pm, I got done with the 50 pages at 11:40pm... with having dyslexic it is harder for me, I would read and mix up words that weren't even there, if I didn't mix up the words then I just didn't understand what I had just read I went back two or three verse or even more and re-read what I have already read, doing that every so often it takes time but I wanted to read 50 pages per day.
Friday and Saturday were amazing, I read out loud to myself and I wasn't stuttering a whole lot, barely anything, reading out loud at least for me I learned more, at some parts of the Book Of Mormon my voice began to get emotional, as I read on during Friday and Saturday I was prompted from the Holy Ghost to mark some verses so I'll be able to go back and re-read them
3rd Nephi 12:15-16: Behold, do men light a candle and put it under a bushel? Nay, but on a candlestick, and it giveth light to all that are in the house; Therefor let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
To me that really stood out, we need to be the light, we need to be the example to others, we are their light, let us shine forth!
3rd Nephi 15:9: Behold, I am the law, and the light, Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life
How can I put it any clearer, we endure to the end and we will have eternal life, I loved this and how much I felt I needed to mark it for some reason.
Now go to chapter 27:16-17 I was prompted to mark this one as well, I know why now
"And it shall come to pass, that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled; and if he will endure to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world. And he that endureth not unto the end, the same is he that is also hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence they can no more return, because of the justice of the Father"
We need to repent, if we do not repent we will be cast into the fire of hell and we cannot return from there, repent, repent. be saved, no one is perfect on this earth, we make mistakes but we can repent and become worthy again.
Moroni 7:11-12:
For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he cannot be a servant of the devil. Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and entiecth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually"
The devil wants us on his side, our life's will be miserable, if he has us in his grasp.
Another one I was prompted to mark was Moroni 7:43
"And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart"
That reminded me of
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light- Matthew 11:28-30"
Christ is meek and lowly in heart, to have faith and hope.. we need to be meek and lowly in heart as-well let starts now.
As I was reading Moroni chapter 8, more then half of that chapter I took it to heart and thought that what I will be doing on my mission,
After reading the chapter I had a prompting to replace the "My beloved son, Moroni" to "My beloved son, Michael"
The feeling of the spirit... overcame me and it was a feeling I'll never forget.
I'll go back to it many times, and once I get my mission call I'll go back and re-read it, same as when I'm on my mission.
I find it very funny, how the day after I finished the book of Mormon, I got on a game that I haven't played in for a year and the server I joined, some people were bashing my religion and the book of Mormon, I fine this funny because Satan will not stop to lead us away from the church, we have to be stronger then he is.
The Book of Mormon is true, I have gain my own testimony of it, this church is the true church. I know that God lives and he sent his beloved son to die for our sins.
If you are ever having doubts, read the Book of Mormon and pray.
Endure to the end, stay strong in the Gospel and you won't regret it
 |
Friday, December 16, 2011
My Struggles Soon Gone
I been dealing with some struggles lately.. mostly about just wanting the weight to lose faster, but how can I lose more then 3lbs in a day?, which has been the most I have lost in a day, the short answer... I can't really.
It's so tough to start the workouts, I always dread doing it but once I'm done I feel much better and my body feels great too.
In a day I normally do an hour of treadmill full incline, jogging/walking.. and that works very well, lose the most weight by doing the treadmill, the thing I hate is the sweat it's all over you and I just don't like how it feels.
I also been hating upon myself for getting to where I am, it took me 18 years to get to the state I am in now, and.. I just hate myself for that, but you know what?, it took me 18 years to get here, but won't take me 18 years to lose the weight.
Last week when I put on my church pants, I had to keep pulling them up, I look forward to each week putting on my church clothes, each time there more room.
I have talked to some of my friends about these feelings and how thoughts of giving up came to mind.. well won't happen this time.
Reason: I want to go on my mission, I want to serve my Lord and teach the people he wants me to teach, and once I do lose the weight.. I'll be happier in life, I'll be able to live my full life:
March-April is when I'm planning I'll be done losing the weight, I look how far away it is now and think.. "Will I even get here?" the question.. is yes and then guess what?.... the beast shall unleash itself with the smexiness
Yep, I made that up myself... how could you tell?.
One day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time.. and I'll get there
I'll be getting a church suit, and that will do well with the smexiness
(To the ladies) Wouldn't you date or hang out with a beastly guy with curly hair who wears a black church suit to church?.. if I was a girl and I knew a guy like that, then I would * cough cough, you should do the same*
Oh yeah, the guy is spiritual and love going to church, oh might I add he has blue eyes that will shine in the moonlight?, and... I'll stop now, you gotten the point :)
Enjoy the laughs which follow up there ^ (To the guy, but the girls will think it's dreamy, huh?)
I'll use my weight lost story in many of my talks which I'll do once I'm older, I want to become like John Bytheway.
It's so tough to start the workouts, I always dread doing it but once I'm done I feel much better and my body feels great too.
In a day I normally do an hour of treadmill full incline, jogging/walking.. and that works very well, lose the most weight by doing the treadmill, the thing I hate is the sweat it's all over you and I just don't like how it feels.
I also been hating upon myself for getting to where I am, it took me 18 years to get to the state I am in now, and.. I just hate myself for that, but you know what?, it took me 18 years to get here, but won't take me 18 years to lose the weight.
Last week when I put on my church pants, I had to keep pulling them up, I look forward to each week putting on my church clothes, each time there more room.
I have talked to some of my friends about these feelings and how thoughts of giving up came to mind.. well won't happen this time.
Reason: I want to go on my mission, I want to serve my Lord and teach the people he wants me to teach, and once I do lose the weight.. I'll be happier in life, I'll be able to live my full life:
March-April is when I'm planning I'll be done losing the weight, I look how far away it is now and think.. "Will I even get here?" the question.. is yes and then guess what?.... the beast shall unleash itself with the smexiness
Yep, I made that up myself... how could you tell?.
One day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time.. and I'll get there
I'll be getting a church suit, and that will do well with the smexiness
(To the ladies) Wouldn't you date or hang out with a beastly guy with curly hair who wears a black church suit to church?.. if I was a girl and I knew a guy like that, then I would * cough cough, you should do the same*
Oh yeah, the guy is spiritual and love going to church, oh might I add he has blue eyes that will shine in the moonlight?, and... I'll stop now, you gotten the point :)
Enjoy the laughs which follow up there ^ (To the guy, but the girls will think it's dreamy, huh?)
I'll use my weight lost story in many of my talks which I'll do once I'm older, I want to become like John Bytheway.
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